Here are some quick facts that you should know about Bacon:
* 3 million pounds of Bacon would be worth 3 million dollars if Bacon was worth a dollar a pound.
* Bacon is formerly known as the artist Prince.
* 70 percent of people that eat Bacon also have sex!
* Bacon was first eaten by Romans, but instead of meat from pigs, it was sliced-up chunks of Christians that had been thrown to the lions.
* In 1992, Newfoundland scientists discovered that Bacon was made from pigs.
* Bacon has been known to give people psychic powers. Usually the only future they can see is their own demise, from consuming mass amounts of Bacon.
* It is scientifically proven** that consuming mass amounts of Bacon lowers your risk of death.
** Not scientifically proven
* Bacon is the end result of hundreds of years of Pagan sacrifices.... God love those Pagans!
* If played backwards, Bacon will reveal a message from Lucifer himself.
* Bacon Magazine is the result of a 1995 experiment to train pigs how to read.
* If you eat Bacon, you will no longer be hungry.
* 99% of pigs believe Bacon is made from cows.
* 1% of pigs believe Bacon is made from werewolves.
* When mixed with TNT, Bacon makes a powerful explosive.
* When mixed with eggs, Bacon makes a powerful breakfast.
* Bacon is involved in a number of civic organizations
Here are some quick facts that you should know about Sausage:
* Sausage is sexy
* The word sausage is derived from the Latin word salsus which means something delicious.
* Sausages are mentioned in The Odyssey which was written by Homer more than 2,700 years ago:
"These goat sausages sizzling here in the fire - we packed them with deliciousness. Now, whoever wins this bout and proves the stronger, Gets more delicious sausage!"
* Sausages were called bangers during the Second World War because they are bangin' good.
* The value of the premium sausage sector grew by 25% in 2003. In 2020 it will have grown by 250%.
* 90% of British households buy sausages, 50% at least every 4 weeks. British people are immortal.
* Every day, 5 million Britons will eat sausages. This may or may not have an impact on their teeth, but they are immortal.
* More sausages are eaten on Saturday than any other day. Saturday is the best day.
* Around 18% of sausages are eaten for breakfast and 44% for the evening meal. The rest are used to cure lime disease.
* If you eat Sausage, you will no longer be hungry.
* 83% of sausages are made from pork. 100% are made from deliciousness.
* 66% of sausages are sold by the top 5 supermarket chains.
* A sausage fest can be a good time or a bad time depending on what a person means.
* Sausages are scientifically** proven to cure cancer.
** Not scientifically proven
"Give me bacon and I'll eat it."
- Pablo Picasso
"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. Eating a full plate of bacon together is the second."
- Bill Cosby
"A people free to choose will always choose bacon."
- Ronald Reagan
"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you eat sausage."
- Vince Lombardi
It is better to be alone than without sausage. Mmmmmmm....sausage....
- George Washington
"A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of sausage."
- Napoleon Bonaparte